Shart to Shart: Change with Caution


Have you ever heard how baby boys tend to turn on the water works when they are being changed? When my uncle’s son was a baby he got my grandparents a few times that way. Baby girls do the same thing just not so projectile…but their poop can be. I’ve been pretty lucky so far – no accidents. But when a baby isn’t feeling great that could change everything.

As far as her chest congestion goes, we went to the doctor yesterday and she told me that now is when babies start producing stomach acid. So her assessment is that some reflux made her throat a little raw and that made her more susceptible to catching a cough / cold. That makes her body produce more mucus to cover the tender throat and so while she’s trying to get rid of the cold she’s also dealing with all this extra congestion and mucus. There’s nothing to be done but just keep an eye on her and make sure her mood doesn’t change to worse and that she doesn’t start running a fever. So that’s a relief! But in the meantime her sneezes and coughs have some extra force too.

One of the biggest surprises for about a newborn was that their flatulence rivals with adults. My newborn baby can fart as loud as her father. That amazes me still. The other thing she has in common with her daddy? The inability to keep from farting when she sneezes.

There’s a memory I have of my husband from before we were married that still cracks me up to this day. He was battling a cold that week and he sneezed into his hand and snotted all over. He jumped up to get tissues from the bathroom with his hands out so he didn’t touch anything with his snot covered palm and like clockwork his pants fell down to his ankles only he couldn’t pull them up because of the snot fist and all and he kept sneezing and farting at the same time while he baby stepped toward the bathroom. He was totally helpless but it was one of the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

There’s a fine line between fart humor and a dangerous situation though. For example, if you work in a bit of illness (or a White Castle dinner) with that it’s almost a guaranteed shart. (Shit + Fart = Shart). My husband insists that this happens to everyone in their life whether from the flu or just because. I personally have never experienced it…thankfully! But evidently he must be fairly right or the well known warning “never trust a fart” wouldn’t be out there.

So now that the baby’s been sneezing and coughing harder her normally comical farts are now nothing to be messed with. She bombed the babysitter this week mid-change. And for those of you who don’t know baby poop, well, breastfed baby poop anyway, it’s mustard yellow and seedy. Make it explosive and you’ve got a dangerous weapon on your hands. I laughed when she told me about it…and then it happened to me too. Talk about a mess! At least it doesn’t stink horribly too or I would be done for.

So note to self: proceed with stealth when changing diapers…The longer you have that area exposed the more likely you are to be mustard bombed.


About stephrader

I am a new mom who went from managing a fast paced legal office to the 24/7 lifestyle of a stay-at-home-mom. I am inspired by everything and writing has always been my outlet. I love that each day offers something new, exciting, breathtaking, philosophical, tasty, funny and yes, sometimes even sad. Check out my blog 'The Write Side of Life'.

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