My Little Miracle

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The baby’s two month check up was yesterday. I can’t quite believe two months have already passed. Everything went good. Daddy met us there in case I couldn’t handle her tears from the shots. I have such a hard time at the doctor with our pets and now our baby. If they hurt or cry it kills me. i was prepared for lots of tears after the shots but she actually did great. She cried right after them but quieted down as soon as I picked her up and was all smiles by the time we got home. What a big girl. It’s bittersweet – I love watching her grow but don’t want her to get big too fast.

Well apparently I won’t have to worry too much about that. She was born two weeks early so she was smaller than she would have been but not much at 7 lbs, 11 oz. She was in the 25th-50th percentile and has stayed there growing right on point in her category but still it’s hilarious to me that she is such a petite little thing. Between her daddy who is 6’3″ and me coming in at 5’11” we both come from taller families. Out of both of our families we really only have two members that are “short” – my sister and grandmother both at a little over 5′. Ironically enough though, my sister’s son is huge. Someone upstairs is having fun with this it would seem. The one area she didn’t measure small on was her head. She doesn’t have a huge melon head or anything. It’s perfect but it measures in the 50th-75th percentile so it’s just slightly larger than the rest of her measurements. She gets that from her daddy. ūüėČ

There are so many things I wanted her to inherit from me but honestly, when I considered my height, part of me wished that she wouldn’t have to go through that. I always thought 5′ 9″ seemed like the perfect “tall” height for a girl. More than that just makes everything more difficult. I passed 5′ 9″ when I was 13. Granted nowadays it’s a lot easier to find longer fitting clothes but when I was growing up finding pants that were long enough or shoes big enough was torture. Not to mention the awkwardness of being heads taller than all the girls (and most boys) in class. Not standing out was impossible and so it was the one thing I wished I could do. Just blend in.

It seems like when you feel like you blend in you want to stand out. Being forced to stand out, maybe thats why I just wanted to be a little less noticeable. Just because of the simple fact that I had no choice I began to loathe any situation where I was the center of attention. My biggest issue has always been standing out too much. No matter how many compliments I’ve gotten about my height it’s still always been at the forefront of my insecurities. I hate the feeling that everyone is watching me. I’ve even gone as far as color coordinating to events so I match and am not that insanely tall girl in the bright orange dress. Entering any social scene with attention is horrible for me. I’d rather sneak in and find a seat and blend in. Well okay not always‚ĶThere have been plenty of vodka cranberry nights that my alter ego would beg to differ. And who’s going to tell a six foot tall drunk chick any different? But for the most part, I hate feeling like i’m on a stage. Like people are watching you and critiquing everything about you because you’re so tall.

I really lucked out when I met my husband. When you feel like a giant next to most others it’s refreshing to actually feel ladylike and petite which is how I feel when I’m around him. And with his family all being fairly tall too it made me feel like I could just be myself and not worry all the time about how much I stood apart from everyone. It all finally gave me the chance to appreciate my height. Embrace it. So naturally I figured we’d give birth to a big baby.¬† I think it’s safe to say that everyone else assumed as much too – at least most of the bets in our baby pool looked that way.

Well, surprise surprise,¬† she didn’t come out three feet tall. In fact, she’s small. She’s my perfectly average little princess with a big personality. Petite in size with a big smile, a big heart and such a big love. Big or small, I thank God every day for her beautiful little self. Just the thought of her brings a smile to my face. My biggest creation just happens to be a little miracle.

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About stephrader

I am a new mom who went from managing a fast paced legal office to the 24/7 lifestyle of a stay-at-home-mom. I am inspired by everything and writing has always been my outlet. I love that each day offers something new, exciting, breathtaking, philosophical, tasty, funny and yes, sometimes even sad. Check out my blog 'The Write Side of Life'.

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