I am so sick of feeling like crap. The last thing I want to do is to focus my blogging around whining about how it’s week three and my back is still jacked and I still can’t walk upright. But, dammit! It’s week three and my back is still jacked and I still can’t walk upright! I can’t carry the baby around the house or even attempt to carry her in her carseat to go anywhere. We attempted a walk with her in her stroller over the weekend since I could lean into the stroller but, before we even got halfway around the block we had to turn around because it just hurt too much.
Seriously what does one do at this point? A week at the chiropractor did nothing but actually made me feel worse. I can’t take pain meds and they don’t help fix anything anyway. A doctor can’t fix me on the spot and they’re not going to schedule some miracle surgery right out the gate. I have been doing my physical therapy every night but I’m just not seeing any drastic improvements here. I stared at myself in the mirror before showering and I swear my whole freaking body is lopsided. My hips are uneven and I have a huge bulge in the middle of my back. Freaky!!
I have avoided posting anything for fear of bitching about this injury too much. I don’t want to be all blah, blah, blah, my back, blah, blah, blah and everyone be like, “man, this sucks”. So I’m going to have a small bitchfest here and hopefully be a million times better by this time next week so we can move on and get to the good stuff. (Although I recall the chiropractor telling me the same thing during week one).
Top five things that suck when you can’t stand straight or walk:
5) Mushroom hunting is easy when you’re hunched down looking around the ground of the woods but absolutely blows to have to cover any large area of ground to look for them so you basically are stuck in the ATV the whole time. It was a little too early for morels anyway but they’ll be out by next week so, again, now I am freaking out about how much better or not I’ll be by then. On the positive side, my husband found a matching set of shed antlers in the woods so that was neat.
4) Showering. Try standing up to lather and rinse your hair and then not having enough strength to keep standing through washing and shaving. Boo! And God forbid you slip and fall. I had been doing baths but it’s just not the same and ended up just giving me an ear infection from soapy bathwater.
3) Drying off after the shower. There’s way too much moving and shuffling with the towel when you get out of the shower. Drying off now involves a lot of bad words and several weird sounding and unpleasant groans. Getting dressed is a pain of equal proportions. And I’ll tell you, slumped over is NOT a flattering posture to have when you’re still extra flabby from having a baby.
2) Tending to your newborn. I can’t carry her anywhere. I have had to keep her diapers, wipes and everything within reach and can barely move her from her crib at the foot of the bed to the bed when she wakes up every morning. I feel horrible that I can’t walk her around or take her anywhere too. We’ve had a couple days of really nice weather and I’ve just had to deal with sitting under an open window instead of being out in it and letting her enjoy the spring. Thankfully the weather is going to be a little shittier this week so maybe I won’t feel like I’m missing out so much. But again I sit here hoping this is the last week that I feel like crap.
1) Just about everything. There is hardly anything you can or can’t do that doesn’t bother this injury. Laying on one side because I can’t on the other and then the good side starts hurting. I’m up every single hour at night having to move or get up to let the charlie horse in my hip settle. I can’t lay on may back or on my stomach either. I can’t really carry anything so I can’t get much accomplished around the house. I can’t do much of anything but I can’t do nothing either without hurting.
This is all just pissing me off even more because it falls at the time when I’m supposed to be starting a “yolocaust” here by embracing our new life. I’ll be damned if this is it! At first everyone agreed it was stress created. I can see that. I was still having some pretty vivid dreams of going postal and beating the crap out of a few certain people that screwed me over and brought on most of that stress. But even those dreams have run dry and my normal weird dreams have resumed their post. A few people have said that it’s someone up there telling me I need to relax and not try to do so much. I get that too, sure. Except there’s a huge difference between doing “too much” and doing anything!
Alright so that’s my soapbox. Now c’mon God, I need you to work some stuff here and help a sister out. I really may go bat shit crazy over this if it’s not better soon!