It’s a Gas


It’s amazing how good weather can make even the craziest of days more tolerable. The Hubs and I set out to get our garden started on Sunday. We are wanting to grow and make the baby’s food when she starts solids in the next month or two. One of our local nurseries had 30% off all of their perennials and after a failed attempt at Home Depot (where they had squat for a selection of anything and what they did have looked like it was on its last root) we decided to head there instead. Only we got to the nursery right before they closed and were only able to get a few things before we had to go so I just decided I’d go back in the morning to get the rest. We spent hours getting the bed sectioned off and tilled Sunday and I had lots to resume today after he headed off to work. Oh what an expensive, money wasting, train wreck that turned out to be. Have you ever had one of those days where you just have to laugh because if you don’t you might just go berserk? That was today…

The morning started off beautifully. It was cool, breezy morning so I opened all the windows. I totally forgot to turn off the air conditioner but thankfully it was cool enough not to register it to kick on most of the day. I called my grandmother to see if she wanted to go to the garden center with me. After attempting to feed the baby we set out. I had a bad feeling when she stopped nursing after only five minutes and was all giggles that those giggles were going to fade soon and my time out may be pretty limited so I tried to quickly organize a plan. Only the nursery was overwhelming with flowers of all kinds. I was just about finished when happy baby met crazy, hungry, sleepy baby. I don’t think clearly when the baby is crying. Maybe because she doesn’t do it a lot I just am not trained at how to properly handle that situation. All I knew was that I had only a short while left before she couldn’t be distracted with toys and would need to eat. At that point I threw several remaining plants into the cart and headed to the register. After paying the cashier I tried to make sense of how I managed to spend so much money still. It wasn’t until we were pulling out of the parking lot that I noticed a sign that said the 30% discount was only Friday thru Sunday. Bummer.

So we get back home and I feed the baby who I had to wake up because she fell asleep in the short car ride home. I figured she’d fall back to sleep right after but she didn’t. So she would be my audience outside while I got everything together. I had 8 hanging baskets I had to make and several other potted arrangements to put together. I went to the shed to retrieve my hanging baskets from last year that were stacked behind it. As I picked them up one by one I could only find two that still had their hangers intact. So great, now I have all these plants for hangers and only two functioning hanging baskets. I loathed the idea of having to buy all new hanging baskets just because the hangers broke and you can’t buy just the hangers alone. Bummer again.

Deciding to make the best of it I got to work with what I could. I decided I could always make some hangers with braided twine or something. So I went to the shed to get my shovel so I could get started. However, the shed was locked and the only key was hanging on my husband’s keychain. In his pocket. At work. Great. Picturing how ridiculous it would look doing all this gardening with a kitchen spoon, I called my grandmother again and borrowed a shovel from her. At this point it was afternoon and I had barely any breakfast and no lunch yet so I went in to get something. I decided to just munch on some dried plums for now so I could get back to work. It didn’t occur to me that it may not have been the best of ideas.

A couple hours later I was halfway through planting my flowers. I had weeded my side garden and transplanted some Black Eyed Susans to the back of the yard and replaced that area with some new (full priced) perennials and had started on my potted arrangements…all potted arrangements now since I had no hangers. My back was killing me from all the hefting of full pots and bending over – not to mention huge rock that I uncovered in the flower bed that I chucked over the fence into the vacant house’s yard next door, whose lawn hasn’t been mown all season despite numerous calls to the city (it’s a beauty let me tell you). Apparently the universe didn’t like me donating it to the neighboring yard because when I did not only did I hurt myself but I also broke the top of one of the dogeared fence boards too. Whoops.

It was about this time the prunes decided to reintroduce themselves. It’s one thing to be worried about your back while you’re lifting and arranging flower pots…It’s an added bonus to be afraid you may shit your pants every time you do it too. I love dried fruit. I also know that prune juice is a colon cleanser and that prunes make you gassy. Why I thought I’d be able to be unaffected by it while doing all this work is beyond me. The good news is that I didn’t shart myself but, unfortunately, the gas was nearly unavoidable. Hey, at least I was surrounded by flowers.

I hate days when you feel like you’re just wasting time and money. I spent way too much on flowers and they didn’t even have several that I specifically went back to get (like lemongrass to help repel mosquitoes). This garden is costing us more than we had planned to get prepped. I’m going to have to replace a board in the fence. Yada, yada. The funny thing is that despite it all happening so perfectly timed today one thing after another, the weather was fantastic and the baby thought it was all funny so it wasn’t a total flop and I couldn’t help but to laugh with her. Plus the garden is coming along and my flowerbed and pots are done and it looks much better. I’ll figure out how to save money at some point. I’m still getting adjusted to it all. And hey, at least the house is cleaner than it ever has been and the dishes and laundry are all done. Sometimes you just gotta be happy with the small victories. Every day is a new learning opportunity. For example, today I learned to verify sales beforehand…and not to eat prunes prior to doing any heavy, repetitious lifting.


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