I Pledge Allegiance to the Turkey


I keep seeing these “pledges to not shop on Thanksgiving Day” going around online. All I can assume if you are shopping on turkey day is that you are either anorexic or come from a long line of shitty cooks. Besides, I don’t have to “pledge” not to shop on Thanksgiving; Anyone that knows me knows I’ll be in a self-induced food coma that day.



Really though, isn’t Black Friday enough?!

This is actually the first Black Friday in over a decade that I won’t have to work. But I’ll tell you one thing I won’t be doing to celebrate that and that’s shopping! I try to avoid public tramplings whenever possible. Not that I have anything against anyone else that partakes in the Black Friday madness. It’s just that this country definitely doesn’t need anymore women of my height and shoe size getting over excited about Black Friday sales…That type of stuff could lead to serious injuries.

Happy retailing to all of you determined shoppers out there though. I would say I’ll be thinking of you while you’re camping out in front of Best Buy in the cold, waking at 2:00 am and getting the car defrosted so you can get the first door buster deal or fighting over the last $100 TV but let’s be honest, I’ll be all snuggled up and sleeping off my rendition of The Hunger Games. 

Have a great turkey day folks! May your waist bands be as big as your appetites.


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