Timehop reminded me that on this day last year we received the good news that we were having another baby. If only that excitement could have lasted.
There’s no denying the sting that hits me every time it comes up (or like when I get emails from companies I could’ve sworn I unsubscribed from reminding me when I was due or that my baby should be ten weeks old, etc., etc). But that sting is just a reminder that it was real. That there was real joy there. Real love. Love that I am realizing will never fade no matter how much time passes.
There’s no way around it nor do I have any desire to pretend it didn’t happen. I don’t think there will ever be a day that I am free from thought of it…And that part I’m okay with; Because it was a blessing and an exciting few months while it lasted and, just like with Adriana, I savored Every. Single. Moment.
I was honored to carry that life even if it was only for a short time. It kills me when I hear people complaining about their child(ren) or their pregnancy because, even though they have every right to feel like crap or have bad days, and it’s totally understandable, I still would give anything to be experiencing it all – pains, discomforts, sleepless nights, and all.
So savor every moment – Even the worst days. Enjoy every beautiful, aggravating minute of parenting. Every day of morning sickness or those “pregnancy-blah” feelings. Remind yourself just how blessed you are to have those bad days every now and then that are surrounded by all the good ones.
And rest in peace to that sweet little soul that left too soon. ❤️
I can’t believe how big this baby is getting! I can’t believe in a couple more weeks she’ll be five months old! Seems like just yesterday we brought her home from the hospital. She was so helpless and couldn’t do anything. Now she’s laughing, making faces, baby talking, sitting up, she’s so close to crawling, and actually plays with her toys. She loves being in her walker even though her feet don’t touch the ground yet and she smacks the toys on the tray to make them move. Her little hands have grown so efficient she can reach for things and hold them and move them where she wants them (usually right to her mouth) and she does the “Sooo big” game by herself now. She’s got a thing for reaching out and touching your face when you hold her. Fellow Twihards, I have to admit I had a moment where I thought , “OMG is she going to show me her thoughts like a little Renesmee” lol. Rest assured, that didn’t happen…well, yet anyway.
It’s just amazing to me. Humans are so helpless for so long compared to most animals that pretty much have to get up and moving on their own right away. Yet, as slow as you think it happens, it’s actually really fast and you realize it is a lot of stuff to learn. It’s hard not to get wishy-washy thinking that in just a few months she’ll be crawling and walking and talking! And in a few years, school, then driving, then college and careers and a family of her own. It’s crazy to think that this is all going to be part of our life now. Sometimes when I’m holding her I just want to freeze her at this size so I can enjoy it forever. But then i realize I have so much yet to see from her and to be proud of. It’s hard letting go of your baby to her own growth. Even though it’s not an easy job, it’s no wonder to me now why people keep having kids so you can experience these ages all over again. I take a million pictures every week hoping I’ll never forget that one face she made that day, the way she smelled after her bath, the softness of her skin nestled into my neck, the way she looks up at me when she’s nursing and has to stop so she can smile big at me. It’s still hard to believe that this is real sometimes and every day I fight back tears at the awesomeness of human life and how blessed I am to experience this.
The fastest four months of my life!