Tag Archives: Parenting

Savor Even The Worst Days


Timehop reminded me that on this day last year we received the good news that we were having another baby. If only that excitement could have lasted.

There’s no denying the sting that hits me every time it comes up (or like when I get emails from companies I could’ve sworn I unsubscribed from reminding me when I was due or that my baby should be ten weeks old, etc., etc). But that sting is just a reminder that it was real. That there was real joy there. Real love. Love that I am realizing will never fade no matter how much time passes.

There’s no way around it nor do I have any desire to pretend it didn’t happen. I don’t think there will ever be a day that I am free from thought of it…And that part I’m okay with; Because it was a blessing and an exciting few months while it lasted and, just like with Adriana, I savored Every. Single. Moment.

I was honored to carry that life even if it was only for a short time. It kills me when I hear people complaining about their child(ren) or their pregnancy because, even though they have every right to feel like crap or have bad days, and it’s totally understandable, I still would give anything to be experiencing it all – pains, discomforts, sleepless nights, and all.

So savor every moment – Even the worst days. Enjoy every beautiful, aggravating minute of parenting. Every day of morning sickness or those “pregnancy-blah” feelings. Remind yourself just how blessed you are to have those bad days every now and then that are surrounded by all the good ones.

And rest in peace to that sweet little soul that left too soon. ❤️


No Longer (Farewell to 2015)

In an empty field I find myself

Mowed of its bounty overgrown;
Now barren and empty-

It’s deepest secrets exposed.
And in the crisp approaching winter’s breeze,

I smell the earth and the dying leaves.
The decaying year soon coming to close

As too perhaps my eyes on their sorrows.
Another year approaching, a beginning anew;

The fog is lifting and once again I can see;

Still conscious that it’s without you.
My world turned cold the day you left

And it’s been winter ever since; 

Searching for what couldn’t be. 

Wishing for you to return to me.
I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m not alright.

The days pass by and turn to night. 

Flashes of me here and there,

Hiding behind a shaky stare.
I don’t want to numb it 

But I can’t let it out;

I can’t get rid of it 

And I don’t want to be without.
Never the same;

Forever changed.
Coming to life amidst the rubble 

And then crumbling back down;

How can I feel so alien in my world 

And yet still smile while inside I frown?
I feel like I’m now two people – 

One me and one that’s broken;

One that smiles and laughs and jokes 

And an even more fragile one awoken.
Something was taken from me, but yet will never leave. 

Things don’t make sense, but make sense perfectly.
The depth of my emotions magnified -

Whether in spite of or because of it, I don’t know. 

Staring out – it’s the same window, the same world,
Completely different though.
Life goes on and people buzz along, 

Unknowing, uncaring, unchanged.

And I try to absorb their indifference
Unaffected, unbroken, mundane.
There should be another place setting

Another stocking by the fire;

There should be a happier ending to this year

And not just an aching, fruitless desire.
I may never return from the dark,

It seems now the dark is part of me; 

I may never try again

For fear it will consume me entirely.
But still I can feel the spring in my veins
Reminding me to live once again.

Seeing an island while I was lost at sea. 

Bits of myself returning to me.
The new year approaches and brings a promise:
That although broken, I can go on;

That I can laugh, and smile, and sing 

Even though you’re gone.
That although I cry I can still be joyful
And my joy does not need to be obscured;
That just because you are no longer
Doesn’t mean you never were.
                                                                                                       -Stephanie Rader, The Write Side of Life
2015 has been a difficult year though it was still filled with many blessings and joyful moments for which I am incredibly grateful. Things may never be “the same” again but I suppose those changes build who we are – Even if sometimes those building blocks are just the broken pieces of ourselves. Still, I hope that 2016 is a bit more kind to us all.
Happy New Year ❤

Thoughts for a Parent’s Heart


“Being a student of the heart is not a high value job in the world we live.”

via Thoughts for a Parent’s Heart.

True words quoted from a fellow blogger I follow. Perhaps it is why we are drawn to blogging…after conversing with children all day it is nice sometimes to reconnect with the bigger words again and elaborate on something in adult language. Whatever it is, I have met this blogger IRL and enjoy her writing immensely too. The bonus sometimes (like today) is finding a perspective that rings true for my life as well.

One thing is for sure, you are definitely not wasting your life my dear. If this is what God has called you to do then it is definitely not time wasted. It may not be valuable in the world we live but this world has it’s priorities a bit mixed up anyway. This was a worry I had too but every day I am reminded that it was the right decision for us as well and, at the end of the day, you can be a student in life or all your life but you can’t buy a degree for a position in your child’s life nor a career in heaven. So rock on with your bad self mama. Your degree may be collecting dust for now but you’re sparkling in the eyes and minds of those little ones. 🙂

The Luckiest Mum


My baby is 9 months old. NINE months old. I can’t believe it but it’s true and one year is right around the corner. We spent the day putting up the fall decorations. Well, she spent it being absolutely adorable and rocking in her little rocking chair while I put up the decorations. Instead of cake she had the baked cauliflower dish I made with dinner and didn’t mind a bit. In fact, she loved it. I sat there for over an hour while she fed herself and yelled for more when she cleared her tray. It was just like the salmon we had the other night that she couldn’t get enough of. She’s the funniest little thing to me. And just so big. There are no words for the joy this child brings into my life every single day and how watching her grow pulls on my heartstrings.

My Little Tulip I'm such a lucky mum  ;)

My Little Tulip
I’m such a lucky mum

Of all the flowers in the world she’s my favorite tulip…and I’m the luckiest mum of them all.